A Deep Depression (The Saviors Hand Reaching Out)

     I wanted to share a chapter from my book "A Shelter From the Storm." A part of my life where the trials seemed one after the other. While I went through this heartache I have learned to rely on my Savior, Jesus Christ...who was really the one who helped me through those storms and sent others to me to tell me it was okay to get help.

    I also want to share so that you know you are not going through this alone. Others have experienced things similar and that I am always here if you ever need a friend or someone to talk to. I believe sharing experiences help us to help others so they too can receive a shelter from their own storms in life....

                                                                            Chapter 3

A Deep Depression

      The next few months would be trial after trial for me as I navigated being by myself with my children and newborn.  My husband graduated Basic Training and was now in Tech. School. The upside is I was able to talk to him everyday now. Which brought me comfort and joy.

            A few weeks after my Mom left after delivering my postpartum depression got worse. I got it while I was pregnant but didn’t realize it until later because I thought I was just sad that my husband was gone. Now I was drowning in depression, anxiety, and numbness all at once.  I’ve had it before and thought I could pull myself out of it, but at this point I didn’t even want to be here anymore. I wanted to run away. I prayed for strength like I never had before. I was hoping it would get better and go away but it seemed to linger like a heavy dark fog.

            I knew I had a problem that needed to be solved when Conference (For the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) came on that April (A few months after I gave birth) and I hated it. I was crying on my couch in my bathrobe hating conference. I didn’t want to listen. I didn’t even want to be here. I wanted to run far away, dig a hole, sit there and rot. I was so confused. I have never hated conference. I have always LOVED conference. What was wrong with me. Why couldn’t I pull myself together.

            But I was there; listening, because that’s where I was supposed to be. I learned that years ago when the previous BYUI Presidents wife: Sister Clark, who gave a talk at devotional. She said “Be where you are supposed be when you are supposed to be there… Be there for all of your ward’s meetings and activities. When you’re supposed to be in class, be there. When you’re supposed to be at family home evening, be there. Be there for your work and service commitments. Be there for your roommates. Go through your day saying to yourself, “Where am I supposed to be?” And then be there. Developing and keeping that habit will bless your lives and help to keep you on the straight and narrow path.” (Sue Clark, Be Where You Are Supposed to Be, Brigham Young University–Idaho Devotional, August 30, 2005 https://www.byui.edu/devotionals/sister-sue-clark-fall-2005)

            So, here I was. While I didn’t know it at the time that habit of being where I was supposed to be when I was supposed to be there did truly bless my life because the spirit was able to nudge me to tell me I needed help and I needed to call my sister right now. I called my older Sister (The one who was a Registered Nurse) to tell her what was going on. She told me she was grateful I called and that I needed to got to the doctor right away. That it was okay to get help. That I wasn’t weak and I wasn’t broken. I just needed a little help and I was going through something really hard.

            Those words really comforted me. I wasn’t broken, I just needed a little help. I knew the spirit told her what to say.

             I told her I went to a clinic and it wasn’t opened until Monday. We prayed together that I would have the strength to make it to Monday. I prayed and prayed so hard the next few days.

            I also started to search for songs that would help me on YouTube to feel the Saviors love and get me through. I came upon one by Avril Lavigne, someone I wouldn’t usually listen to for uplifting music but decided to listen to it. It was perfect and that song literally saved my life. The lyrics resonated with my soul;

“I've gotta keep the calm before the storm
I don't want less, I don't want more
Must bar the windows and the doors
To keep me safe, to keep me warm

Yeah, my life is what I'm fighting for
Can't part the sea, can't reach the shore
And my voice becomes the driving force
I won't let this pull me overboard

God, keep my head above water
Don't let me drown, it gets harder
I'll meet you there at the altar
As I fall down to my knees
Don't let me drown, drown, drown
Don't let me, don't let me, don't let me drown

So pull me up from down below
'Cause I'm underneath the undertow
Come dry me off and hold me close
I need you now, I need you most…

And I can't see in the stormy weather
I can't seem to keep it all together
And I, I can't swim the ocean like this forever
And I can't breathe

God, keep my head above water
I lose my breath at the bottom
Come rescue me, I'll be waiting
I'm too young to fall asleep

God, keep my head above water
Don't let me drown, it gets harder
I'll meet you there at the altar
As I fall down to my knees…”

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Avril Ramona Lavigne / Stephan Moccio / Travis Clark

Head Above Water lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, BMG Rights Management

 

            I was literally drowning and reaching for my Savior. As I listened to that song, I could feel him lifting me up out of my deep dark pit and holding me. He knew exactly what I was going through. He felt it, he atoned for it, and he wasn’t going to let me fail.

            Monday came and I received the help I needed. My Doctor was so compassionate and understanding. I started to get better and soon felt like myself again.

            As I look back on that experience, I knew my Savior was there with me the whole time, even though I couldn’t feel it. I also was grateful for good habits and a sanctuary I built in my home that allowed the spirit to be there to help me get through that dark time in my life. It helped me realize that you don’t prepare for the storm while it’s happening. You prepare and then when the storm comes, no matter how hard or dark it gets, you will be okay. Just like Moroni did with his people in The Book of Mormon in Alma 48: 7-10

7 Now it came to pass that while Amalickiah had thus been obtaining power by fraud and deceit, Moroni, on the other hand, had been ^apreparing the minds of the people to be faithful unto the Lord their God.

8 Yea, he had been strengthening the armies of the Nephites, and erecting small ^aforts, or places of resort; throwing up banks of earth round about to enclose his armies, and also building ^bwalls of stone to encircle them about, round about their cities and the borders of their lands; yea, all round about the land.

9 And in their weakest fortifications he did place the greater number of men; and thus he did fortify and strengthen the land which was possessed by the Nephites.

10 And thus he was preparing to ^asupport their liberty, their lands, their wives, and their children, and their peace, and that they might live unto the Lord their God, and that they might maintain that which was called by their enemies the cause of ^bChristians.

           

            Moroni didn’t wait until the Lamanites were at his door to finally decide he should maybe put a lock on it. He was preparing his people both spiritually and physically for the war that was coming to their doorstep and literally putting on the Armor of God on them and when the Lamanites came they did not conquer.

            Alma 49: 22-23

“22 Now when they found that they could not obtain power over the Nephites by the pass, they began to dig down their banks of earth that they might obtain a pass to their armies, that they might have an equal chance to fight; but behold, in these attempts they were swept off by the stones and arrows which were thrown at them; and instead of filling up their ditches by pulling down the banks of earth, they were filled up in a measure with their dead and wounded bodies.

23 Thus the Nephites had all power over their enemies; and thus the Lamanites did attempt to destroy the Nephites until their ^achief captains were all slain; yea, and more than a thousand of the Lamanites were slain; while, on the other hand, there was not a single soul of the Nephites which was slain.”

 

            Now we know that there was many more battles that happened but this shows that when you strengthen your home, mind, and body spiritually the Lord will protect you.

            It also shows that the storms of life do come. The righteous are not shielded from having a hard life just because they are doing what is right. If that were so, our Savior Jesus Christ would have had no trials. He suffered the greatest out of anyone who has walked this earth. He felt everything that you went through, that you’re going through and will go through. Not just you though; every. single. person. who has and will live on this earth. What a better person to turn to when life gets rough. Just make sure he’s there before the storm rages and when it hits and our faith waivers, he will be right there to pull us up, just as he did Peter.

             And remember “If sometimes the harder you try, the harder it gets, take heart. So it has been with the best people who ever lived.”  (The Inconvenient Messiah, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, From a talk given at a BYU Devotional, 2 February 1982)

    

Blessings of Friends and a Freezer

A Blessing of Friends and a Freezer

July 9, 2020

This year I decided to work really hard on family finances to get us out of debt and living on a budget.

Along with that was cooking more homemade meals and building up our food storage. We got out of debt within a couple months (YAY!) and were even able to start saving some money. We were doing really well even when Covid-19 hit I was able to buy extra items so I didn’t have to go to the store as frequently as I usually do.

A couple weeks ago we moved into our new house on base and luckily were able to transfer all of our food items. We put our freezer in the garage (which was given to me by my parents about a year ago…a blessing in itself). Then a couple days ago I went out into the garage to get some food from the freezer and noticed a big puddle of water by the freezer.  I opened up the door and all my food was thawing and ice was melting like it was raining.

I hurried to tell Gerret. We looked at it and realized the seal was broken along with the hinge but I found out if you kick the door shut it would go back. Then we sealed the other side with duck tape so the door wouldn’t open.

 I came back later to check how it was holding up and most of my food was halfway thawed. The freezer was over ten years old so we knew there was no warranty to cover it.  We quickly talked over our finances and I left to find a freezer. (I’m not going to lie; I was really bummed about using our savings but feeling blessed we didn’t have to use our credit card). I was out for about 3-4 hours checking all the stores, calling and even went to an appliance shop to see if they could fix it but just looking at the freezer would cost $100 just to give me a diagnostic and other charges for parts and labor I figured I better just keep looking. But no one had a freezer within 150 miles. They were on backorder for 3-4 months due to Covid-19. The factories weren’t making and sending them. When all else failed I came to the realization I better get home and start calling people to see if they wanted food and was going to give it away. On the way home at a traffic light a truck right next to me was a business saying they fixed appliances/ etc. I ended up calling them but in the end I didn’t feel good about it.

It was a long day and so to make a joke out of it and get some humor in my time of distress I wrote a post on Facebook that said,

“Oh 2020 you and your funny little games 😒🤣 In 2019 when everyone was talking about "The roaring twenties" and parties I think you misunderstood. My freezer just went out and it has been a game of hide and seek trying to find a new one before my food is ruined....I'm loosing.... badly. Even the duck tape isn't keeping it shut enough 😂

No store within 150+ miles has one.

Peace out 🤣😒 Wish me luck.”

Thoughts of losing all this food with how hard we worked to save and store it kept brought me down. How was I ever going to build it back up or even choose on what to keep and give away. I said out loud “Lord please bless me!” in a way of pleading to him to help me find a way to build up my freezer and to accept that I was about to lose all this food. After a few minutes, I decided to try and be optimistic and look at it as an opportunity to serve. Maybe somebody needed the bread, chicken, and veggies more than me.  It was pretty fun seeing their faces of confusion when I knocked and had a handful of frozen bread, chicken nuggets and veggies, and whatever else I had extra of.  I went into the kitchen to see what I could get rid of in my fridge freezer to make room for the chicken I wanted to keep. I was also cooking all the frozen Rhodes rolls since they were thawing anyway and anything else that I could whip up a big dinner with to use as much food as possible.   I had the idea to then post on the Facebook Sales page to see if anyone was selling one. In the meantime, I was texting friends if they needed food.

    But not soon after friends (Dina any one of the sisters I minister too) texted me back saying that they could store it for me in their freezer until I get one. They even showed me pictures of how they made room. I felt so loved and blessed since I was just planning on giving it all away. But I didn’t want to keep it at their house long since they had families and probably needed the room so I told them to eat the food if they needed it.

    Dina came to pick up the food and brought her kids to play with my kids. I baked a TON of fries and chicken nuggets to use more food up and they stayed for dinner. Gerret went to drop off the rest at my other friend's house.

   I checked my phone after Dina left to see if anyone commented on my post of” ISO a freezer” and saw a text from one of my other friends Layne saying she has a freezer for me. I couldn’t believe it! I called her immediately.  

  She said it was perfect because they were moving and she didn’t know what to do with it!  I felt so blessed! The Lord sent these angel friends in my life and I am grateful for them.

 I also feel like he planned it out perfectly. He knew my freezer was going to die and it happened right before my friend was moving and giving away her freezer. I thought; what if my freezer broke after she gave away her freezer then I wouldn’t haven’t been able to get a freezer since they are on backorder for 3-4months.

   I went to pick it up and it was perfect (It had more shelves then my original one). It even fit inside my minivan. I felt so grateful. I even spray painted the front and it looks brand new! My heart is so full right now. 

  It was definitely a trial of faith and I feel like the Lord heard my prayer. I am grateful to everyone who showed me such love and kindness. It makes me want to reach out and help others like you helped me.

May the Lord bless you and may you ever be grateful!

-Amy Horikami.

 

   

Never Say Never: A Humble Journey of Joining the Air Force

My humbling experience of joining the Air Force: Something I NEVER wanted to do.

I grew up with my Dad in the Army and I vowed I would never, ever, EVER be in the military again. I grew up moving and I thought I have done my share. I never wanted my husband to go on deployment, potentially to a dangerous area and pretty much be a single parent. I didn’t want the constant life of change with packing and unpacking boxes, reestablishing myself everywhere we moved. My children to change schools and either be behind or ahead depending on the curriculum. I was set…the military would never be in my life again…EVER!

In my early teens my Dad had a job in Idaho between the military I fell in Love with the “Potato State.” I knew this is where I wanted to live the rest of my life. I also met my husband in High School where we where just friends at the time. Well, I moved my senior year, but luckily College and attending Brigham Young University Idaho (BYUI) brought me back to the Gem State and I couldn’t have been happier. My husband after serving a two year mission for our church came to BYUI where we dated and got married.  I remember though that before we got married I told him that military was NOT an option.  Don’t even ask or mention it because I was not going to be moving the rest of my life. I knew that he wanted to join the Air Force before his mission and fly planes but he was too tall at 6ft. 7in and the cut off was 6ft. 4in. (So I wasn’t too worried.) His family was also from Idaho and moved over from Boise area so I knew my plan was set in stone and nothing was going to change it. Well…

After we graduated there were jobs available in Idaho for my husband’s degree with Idaho’s department of Fish and Game; so we applied to several job openings. He did an internship with them so I was sure that it would help with getting the job. It was going perfectly and we would get to raise our family in a small town, with lots of space for room to grow. Then an interview came. Lots of prayers, searching for housing and the adulting began. Then we got an email.

It said thank you for your interest but we will not be continuing with the second interview. We were heartbroken since that seemed to be the trend for the next couple weeks. We looked at other jobs that either wanted a Master’s in the same field or at least 5 years experience. We talked, prayed it over and decided to go to Graduate School. That is where my humbling journey began.

I had a friend in my church who I had a feeling to check up on since I knew her husband was gone on Weekends sometimes. I found out her husband was in the Army Reserves and that Sunday I asked her about it. I asked how she liked it and if they were here on the GI Bill getting an education. We talked about benefits, etc. I JOKINGLY turned to my husband and said, “Hey, maybe we should use the Air Force to pay for our education.” (Because I heard the Air Force is the more family friendly out of all the branches of military). But I wasn’t serious AT ALL. He responded, “We’ll see.” I then got up and went back to sit with my family and as I sat down a feeling and the spirit came over me and I thought maybe that could actually be a good plan. I turned to my husband and said, “Hey, maybe we should use the Air Force for Graduate School.” I thought about it the rest of church and kept mentioning it to my husband since the feeling wouldn’t leave me. We looked into it when we got home. As we were looking he told me that he was actually thinking about the Air Force for a while now. I was confused since he never mentioned anything and I asked, “Why didn’t you say something?” He told me it was because he knew I didn’t want to be in the military. That was a heart stopping moment and I realized later the Lord had to work through me in having the “jokingly idea” of joining the Air Force. I also felt really bad since I was stopping him from doing something he wanted.

 The Lord knew this. He ALSO knew that I would need A LOT of reassurance and help in this process of accepting the military life. He gave me sisters in the ward who were in the military to ask about their experience. Both being positive.

He also prepared my husband. Right after he graduated, he got a strong desire to get healthy and lose weight. He lost almost 60lbs. and once we started to apply and get ready for MEPS he was only 10lbs. short of the weight requirement and easily got it off within a couple weeks.

The Process was long and I was still uneasy. I started to second guess and pray if it was the right thing to do. My hopes and dreams of being in Idaho where getting crushed. Maybe it wasn’t what we were supposed to be doing but while my mom was visiting that prayer was answered. We were driving back from Idaho Falls and me and my mom were having a great conversation then out of nowhere my mom stops talking and turns on the radio. It was on the BYUI station and the speaker said, “Many of us might think, during these times of increasing evil, that we should take our families and hide out in some small town in Idaho, surrounded by other Mormons. But remember, the world needs us.” (4 Mar 2014 – Devotionals, Of Salt, Light, and Leave, Brother Drew Eagar, Instructor, Business Management Department http://www.byui.edu/devotionals/drew-eagar )

It spoke directly to my soul. That’s EXACTLY what I wanted to do…hide out in my small town in Idaho. The talk continued and he said “M. Russell Ballard gave us this great guidance regarding the topic:

In spite of all the wickedness in the world, and in spite of all the opposition to good that we find   on every hand, we should not try to take ourselves or our children out of the world. Jesus said, "the kingdom of heaven is like unto leaven," or yeast. We are to lift the world and help all to rise above the wickedness that surrounds us...

The Lord does not need a society that hides and isolates itself from the world. Rather, it needs stalwart individuals and families who live exemplary lives in the world and demonstrate that joy and fulfillment come not of the world but through the spirit and doctrine of Jesus Christ.^5”

         The Lord knew that’s NOT what we needed to do. Stay in Idaho isolated from the world. We need to be a light wherever we live and sometimes the Lord puts us in places so that we can be that light. It has also made me very humble in realizing I need to be better at sharing the Gospel since it’s so easy when everyone around you is of the same faith.

 Then one Fast Sunday I fasted for the sole purpose of having all my questions answered about the Air Force. I had a lot on my mind and wanted someone who was in that specific branch and active duty to answer my questions since things have changed over the years. During fast and testimony meeting I look over and a sister gets up from the very back to share her testimony. The first thing she says is, “I’m visiting and me and my husband have been in the Air Force for 19 years.” I couldn’t believe my ears! The Lord sent me someone to talk to me about the Air Force. It was one of the fastest prayers of fasting that has EVER been answered in my so far life. I tracked her down after and was able to ask any questions and concern I had. She was so nice and answered every question and told me that the Air Force was worth it. I asked who she was visiting as well. She told me that her daughter and her came up for a visit and picked the first meeting house that listed on the LDS Tools App. Coincidence…I think NOT! It was a blessing to prayer.

With that he sent me friends who recently joined. It’s like a was trying to find a way that it wouldn’t work out or something else would in the meantime so I wouldn’t have to spread my wings but stay in my isolated Idaho State.

The Process began. We were applying as an officer in the Air Force. During the process my husband had appendicitis and had to have surgery and only after to find out that the Air Force put a hold on officers until 2020. Nothing was going right.  We ended up joining as enlisted. My husband did so good on his placement test: 97% that he could do any job as long as it was available. Along the same time we both got a strong feeling that their was another little spirit that needed to be added to our family. 7 months later we were in and my husband was headed to Basic Training. It was so stressful for our family and I started to have panic attacks and anxiety. I prayed to the Lord for help. I told him that he has guided us this far and that I needed help. He gave me family coming for Christmas to help since my brother was getting married. He gave me strength when I had to deliver our baby by myself and a wonderful Mother and Mother-in-law to help. He sent me the right nurse whose son was in the Army and got me connected with my Husband at Basic Training so I could tell him I had our little baby girl since American Red Cross would not.

Then the time came for choosing our “Wish List” for where we would like to be stationed. We put everything out west (Texas, Idaho, Arizona…you name it!). I did NOT want to move down south. After we got our Soft Orders (Meaning it could change but not likely) to FLORIDA! I laughed….a LOT!!!! This whole process has been so humbling to me. I have learned that life is not what you expect, it never goes as planned. Funny though, I never prayed to get stationed out west, I only prayed the Lord would send us to a place that would be good for our family…and It will be! I’m SO excited for Florida now. The Lord has opened my eyes…Yeah, it took about a year because at one point a long time ago I was itching to get out of Idaho and adventure the world. Then that changed only to realize now that I really didn’t change and the Air Force is away to fulfill those dreams I once had. Because honestly, I probably wouldn’t have gone on any adventure because I hate traveling. Now, we are stationed at a place only 6hrs. from Disney World (I’ve never been to ANY Disney Park so you can count that I’m already planning THAT Trip.) We are somewhere warm and right next to the Gulf of Mexico with White Sandy Beaches. I’m pretty much going to live in a vacation area!

Not just that though. The Air Force will provide security, wonderful benefits for our family and a life where we can enjoy. My husband is loving tech school and learning how to do his job. Which he said he is going to enjoy. 

Even if I had those things I’ve learned that I could still be unhappy. It’s MY ultimate choice to be optimistic at whatever life throws you and the Lord had to show me that. He had to show me that what I thought was my ideal dream of living in Idaho the rest of my life wouldn’t actually give me lasting happiness. It was my family, my husband, our marriage and children. He gave me the opportunity to rely on him. He gave me the opportunity to have my husband taken away at the hardest time of our life. I was pregnant and then delivered without him having three little kids at home. I have never relied on my Savior more. I have never been more appreciative of my husband more. He gave me the opportunity to pray for reassurance and he answered EVERY SINGLE PRAYER. I would have never had those experiences if life went exactly how I wanted it too. I have realized life is NOT about me. It’s about people around and what is best for US as a family. I’m still learning and am so grateful for my Heavenly Father, my Savior and especially my husband who has been with me through thick and thin.

     So when life doesn't seem to go as planned and everything isn't working out how you thought. Remember: the Lord is setting up something great for you. He desires to bless you and knows you better than yourself. He raised you spiritually before you came to earth and is helping you physically while you are here. He's not going to just leave you. He's going to provide the best opportunities that sometimes we can't see right away. He is also going to give you opportunities to improve yourself so that you can become like him. Life is too short to be angry that things didn't go your way. Yes, life has many disappointments and struggles and it's okay to work through those. But through those struggles realize the Lord is right by your side from beginning to end.

A Year of Blessings (The Tender Mercies of the Lord)

         I just finished putting my baby to bed and it’s about 2 hours until the New Year starts. As I was holding her I started thinking about all the blessings of this past year that have happened to our family and me individually.  It definitely has been a year full of trial and stress but I can’t help but see the Lord’s hand in our life and how he blessed us every step of the way.

        It started at the Beginning of the year and a little at the end of 2016. When we applied for an apartment (suggested by a friend) that had 6month to a year waiting list. We got a call 2 weeks later saying they had a bottom floor, 3 bedroom apartment available since all the other applications didn’t qualify. Which is EXACTLY what I wanted/needed for my family. The Lord blessed me with the strength I didn’t have to pack up an apartment while I was 37 weeks pregnant and sent angels from my ward and family to help me move TWO days before I had my baby.

     The next big blessing came a couple months later while I was visiting my sister. (We were tight on money since we had 3 kids in diapers and so close to finishing school.) While I was visiting we were driving around she was telling me how she was stressed out because she couldn’t find a Daycare that would take all of her kids so she could keep going to nursing school. The thought came over me and I said, “Well maybe I can watch them.” She looked at me and said, “You’re joking, it’s too good to be true! I would even pay you!” I told her “No,” but she replied “Amy, someone is going to get paid and it’s either going to be you or a daycare.” She said she was praying for a solution and I was praying for extra income. The Lord knew both our needs and blessed us both. I knew it wasn’t a coincidence that I decided to go visit her.

(We were all excited when my husband came to visit while we were gone all summer along with our Christmas in July Party.)

     Then after we came home from a summer of watching kids and celebrating my husbands hard work from graduating college the extra income stopped, but soon after my husband got promoted to Dairy Manager. The Lord just kept blessing us with one thing after the other to help our little family to continue to be provided for. 

    Then in November we had interviews for a Job we applied for back in April. Lots of prayers were going up and fasting that we would get this job. The Interview came and a couple weeks later we got an email saying we would not proceed to the next step. Surprisingly a peaceful feeling came over me that it was going to be okay and we were not supposed to get the job that there is something else. It was confirmed to me when we went to my in-laws and my Father in law said the same thing to us He said, “Me and Angela were talking and thought you know they weren’t supposed to get this job because your needed elsewhere.” It’s been interesting ever since that point on how things have been adding up with other opportunities that we are looking at and I’m excited.

     It ended with December and started with decorating my house. My mother has a wonderful talent of decorating and crafting. She made this beautiful lantern center piece that I really wanted to duplicate. So I was keeping my eye out for a lantern on sale or hoping to find one at a Thrift Store.  Since brand new they can cost well over $30. Well one evening I went DI (Deseret Industries), just to get out of the house while the kids were in bed. I walked around the store wandering and didn’t find anything so I left. As I was walking to my car the thought came to me “Come back tomorrow to look for your decorations for your center piece.” I thought, “okay, I guess I’m coming back tomorrow. My husband came home from work the next day and I left. I was so excited to find my lantern and pieces for my center piece. I got there and looked down every possible isle it could be down at least 3 times. I lifted up all the decorations and scavenged the holiday décor only to find nothing. I felt I should look one more time. So I did. I found these beautiful burlap flowers, this wood circle and all the stuff to put together this woodsy/chic center piece, but still no lanterns. There was only one more place I could look which was the wood area. So I go over and I’m looking through everything. Finally, at the end of the isle right before the lamp shades I say a little prayer. “Dear Heavenly Father I would really like to find some lanterns for my center piece, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.” I open my eyes, look to my right and on the top shelf by all the lamps are two big lanterns side by side. I couldn’t believe it. I immediately thanked my Heavenly Father. Hurried and picked them up and put them in my cart to find they were only $2/piece!

    So many more blessings came the following couple weeks with presents for my family and so much more. This year seems it has been blessing after blessing. The Lord is truly aware of us from the Big things like finances to the little things like a center piece lantern. They come with friends telling you about a place you should apply for, or a sister who needs help but ends up blessing you in return. It comes from promptings of going to a store when you weren’t planning on shopping or listening to a neighbor. It comes from paying your tithing, reading your scriptures, or serving your neighbor and visiting teaching your girls. It comes from you, from us, from the Lord. I’m so grateful for the people and the gospel in my life. This truly is the tip of the iceberg with the blessings that my family has received and I hope I can stay tuned so that I can bless others in this next year to come. I also hope that you can look for the blessings in your life and fill your heart with gratitude especially in this year to come.  

Buying Modest Clothing at a Good Deal

   I hear ya! It's the ultimate search to find a good, long enough, cute enough modest piece of clothing that covers you and at a good price too!

     It started this year when I really wanted to narrow my closet down to basic items I can just put on without so many layers. I've been to a lot of boutiques and shopping malls but sometimes the price for the cute, modest top, is a little out of my budget. I love a good deal and I knew I could find one if I looked hard enough...and with a little prayer and some searching I did! I wanted to share with you what I have found so that you can thank your wallet and dress amazingly modest.   

Amazon is my go to for things like this. I know it is safe and reliable which is a priority when shopping online. Here are some cute items I found and can't wait to get! The Best part is almost ALL of them are under $10!
   
Top #1          
Top #2                                                   
Top #3

Top #4                                                       

Top#5                                

Top #6

Stay tuned for more modest finds....Dresses are next!

From my house to yours, 

Amy

No Job and Two Answered Prayers.

     

  

This quote is so dear to me Now and so True! Here is why:

     I was heading to Boise area to see my sister. I was so excited. It was a blessing getting there in the first place. Not to go into too much back story just read my post “A diaper of a Blessing: The Last 12 Diapers.”

   While I was there I told her about the online Job I didn’t get. It is our last semester of college and if I could work just a little bit we would graduate debt free. My husband was already working full time and doing his internship and we are in the last stretch. We were making enough for bills and everything but no more. I told her how I was so confused since they emailed me back almost immediately saying how I was so qualified and I even had two interviews with them and in the feed back they said I did great and it was what they were looking for. Then all of the sudden I got a response saying that they will no longer continue with my application. Sad day. I was confused and disappointed since their feedback was basically “You got the Job.”

   Well the visit went on and we were driving to her friends house to help her with her animals. My sister started talking about how she was so frustrated and stressed. She was about to start nursing school and doesn’t know what to do with her oldest son since her other daycare (who took care of her other two) won’t take care of him since he is above the age limit of that certain daycare. He had nowhere to go once school was out and Summer started.

   I thought for a few min. and said “Well, maybe I can come for the summer and watch them? ( Since I wasn’t busy with the Job I didn’t get.)  “Let me talk to my husband first but I think it will be okay.”  

She said, “Really? You’re joking me? That would be just a blessing! It’s too good to be true! I would even pay you!”

“Really? No, I’m your sister?”

“No, someone is going to get paid, whether it’s you or the daycare.”

“That would be such a BLESSING! Let me call my husband now!”

(Of course he said it was okay 😊)

    I didn’t think of it in the moment but I dawned on me later. I didn’t get the Job that I was highly qualified for because the Lord knew my sisters prayer of needing to find a babysitter. He also knew my prayer of needing some supplementary income. Both prayers were answered. My sister now has a babysitter All summer for ALL three of her children. I now have a “job” in which I will be getting some income. The Lord also knew that I wouldn’t be able to do both since I would be working from 3am-6am if I did get the other job.

      I’ve learned the Lord truly answers many prayers and usually not in the way you expect it. I know it always works out in the end. Oh, and even better; my husband got a part time Job with Security on campus for the Rest of the semester that he applied to the day before; which is ANOTHER blessing: Because He’ll pretty much be busy even if I was home AND extra income.

So ALL THE BLESSINGS:

-Extra Income coming in

-I get to spend the WHOLE summer with my sister

-My Husband will be busy whether I was home or not (even though I’ll miss him tremendously…thank goodness for phones and google hangouts)

-My children get to play with cousins ALL summer

-My sister now has a babysitter.

-I get to plant a garden (She said I could use her garden beds if I wanted) I’m SO EXCITED!!

Pretty much ALL the desires of my heart where answered. It was just the timing…for which I am grateful. The Lord really answers prayers; AND sometimes two in one.

A "Diaper" of a Blessing: The Last 12 Diapers.

        I couldn't believe it! Pay day came! (I'm pretty sure it's the most exciting day in human history). I started to do the budget and realized that we just had enough to cover bills and diapers for the rest of the month. I got really sad. I've been planning for about a month on visiting my sister next week and we've been making plans. The thing is; I still had to buy diapers for my baby since she only had 12 diapers left (then the diaper money I budgeted would go towards more at end of the month).  As priority I knew I had to tell my sister I had to cancel since I needed to use the gas money towards diapers. I'm not going to lie. My heart was really heavy and sad because we were also on the LAST semester of College and if I keep to this budget we will graduate debt free which is why I wanted to stick to it so bad.
   I called her that night to tell her the sad news and she told me, "Amy, I'm not worried and you know why? The Lord will take care of you because you have children to take care of." I knew it would be okay, but I still wanted to visit her.

    Then the next morning I had a feeling to go check the linen closet for more diapers....

Back Story: A couple days before I knew I had some diapers in the linen closet; an opened package and one other package (they were extra from my previous baby, that were extra I saved). I went to check to see what size they were. As I remembered I had one opened packaged and one closed packaged; no more, no less. I checked the size: Size 3. My baby was in size 2 but I tried them on and they fit perfectly. It was a blessing in and of itself.  At the same time I also applied for an online job in which I didn't get so as you can tell I was a little overwhelmed when I realized I was back to a tight budget. Well, then pay day came and...

   
     I had a feeling to go check the linen closet one more time. As I pulled away the curtain ( I use a large shelf as a linen closet) and you wouldn't believe it... I saw some diapers!!!  I pulled them out and saw more, and more, and more!!! I was shocked...I had 5 packs of unopened diapers!!! OVER 100 diapers! ALL SIZE 3!!! I went and told my husband what I had found! I immediatley felt overwhelmed with gratitude for my Heavenly Father. I did not see those diapers last week when I pulled out the other ones. I knew the Lord had blessed me. I started to cry. I was so overwhelmed by the love the Lord had shown me through some diapers. He really cares about me. Even if that caring is allowing me to see my sister.

      I know things like this are not coincidences. Even if the Lord covered my eyes not to see the diapers until right when I needed them. Or to put diapers there, who knows! All I know is that the Spirit prompted me and the Lord Blessed me. He truly cares about our lives, our happiness and even visiting a sister. I don't need to go to Boise, but I really wanted to and the Lord took that into consideration and made it Possible!

I know he will do the same for you. It is always in the right moment, and sometimes the last moment that the Blessing comes! It's ALWAYS right when you need it and I know that is true.

   I know this is true in the Name of Jesus Christ,
AMEN!!!!